The lighter side of The News: Satan's suburb; Name that dentist; The Thruway less traveled (2024)

Hell-o, Amherst

We’ve attended enough town and planning board meetings in our time to know neighbors can be extravagantly vivid in criticizing an unwanted development.

But a quote we saw in the recent edition of the Hamburg Sun took this to a devilish extreme.

As recounted by Sun Reporter Caitlyn Stair, the Hamburg Town Board last month heard from a group of residents who oppose the construction of a pair of four-story, mixed-use buildings planned for the corner of Rogers Road and Southwestern Boulevard – next to the site of a proposed People Inc. affordable housing complex.

Several speakers raised concerns about Hamburg becoming over-developed. But none did so quite as eloquently and memorably as resident Dan Berarducci.

“I think at some point we have to decide what is the character of the town?” Berarducci said, warming up to his topic.

“Is it going to be an area where nobody owns a home?” he continued. “I live in Hamburg because I don’t want to live in Amherst.”

The “anywhere but Amherst” trope is a popular one among those arguing against development. And Berarducci could have stopped there. He made his point. But he didn’t – and this is where his remarks became the stuff of legend.

“I would rather live in hell than live in Amherst. I don’t want to turn our town into that,” he said.

Now, don’t get us wrong, trying to drive on Transit Road or anywhere near the I-90-290 interchange at rush hour can be a challenge.

But Amherst has a lot to recommend it, right?

Supervisor Brian Kulpa, given a chance to defend the town’s honor, noted the population of upstate New York’s largest suburb.

“There’s 130,000 people who want to call it home,” he told us.

And definitely at least one who doesn’t.

– Stephen T. Watson

Sweet tooth

It is almost too on the nose – or teeth, as the case may be.

Dr. Todd Shatkin, the well-known area dentist, and his Aesthetic Associates Centre sponsor the Thursday Night Lights Scholar Athlete of the Year Award with local stations Fox29 and MyTV.

The 2023-24 award winner, it turns out, is interested in becoming a dentist himself.

Where’s he starting college this fall? Colgate University.

And what’s his last name? Floss.

Applicants had to produce a video message for the scholarship committee. Floss highlighted his athletic and academic achievements, as well as a football clinic, FAB Football, he started for local children that raised money for charities.

“I know. It’s ironic: My last name’s Floss. I’m going to attend Colgate and be a dentist,” he said in the video. “Pretty funny.”

Floss said he was thrilled to learn he had won the award.

He told us he’s going to play football at Colgate, where he plans to major in biology and minor in economics. He said he shadowed Shatkin for a day at his practice and he was particularly interested in the business side of the operation.

Floss told us his last name could be a “good marketing thing” if he goes into dentistry.

He’s heard every joke imaginable about it over the years.

“My whole life,” he said. “Especially when that one ‘floss’ dance came out. Everyone would just do it around me.”

– Stephen T. Watson

Happy the Fourth?

India Walton wanted to offer some historical perspective on Independence Day. But she ended up starting one of those you-have-to-be-from-Buffalo debates on X.

Walton, the progressive candidate and activist, quoted 19th century abolitionist Frederick Douglass: “What to the slave is the Fourth of July?”

She noted Douglass delivered this famous speech in Rochester “just an hour up the 90.” This phrasing caught one X user’s eye.

“I’ve never heard a NYer call I-90 ‘the 90,’ “ he wrote.

“Ok yall, weigh in on this,” Walton encouraged her followers.

It soon became clear people living in Rochester and elsewhere upstate don’t add a “the” in front of highway numbers.

“It’s a WNY thing. People look at me funny when I say it in Albany,” said Jon Campbell, a friend of Off Main Street.

“This is an (I guess not so) well-known thing that only we and folks from Los Angeles use definite articles when talking about highways,” replied Matt Dearing, another Buffalo political activist.

Perhaps Walton put it best when someone said this was a “really silly thing to get upset about lol.”

“I think we need a pointless debate to distract us from the terrible state of the world,” she replied.

– Stephen T. Watson